January

Today is just one of those days where I feel blue. For some reason January gets to me like this, maybe it's because it's cold and dark, maybe because it's hard to get back into school, maybe because my family is far away, maybe because it's a Friday night, maybe because I can't wait until summer... Maybe it's the promise (or specter) of the coming year...Maybe it's just January. I even have a playlist called January from last year with wistful songs.

These are the days when I go back and look over all of my pictures from France and remember how happy I was. Europe really is the best. The freedom of roaming the streets of Paris--I can't even describe how happy that made me. The history, the language, the culture, the accordions playing on the streets, the sounds of cafés, the metro, the food, the lights, the friends....it's definitely not overrated. I really can't say enough about it. While I was there I tried so hard to soak it up, to appreciate each moment. I could honestly go to France every year and never tire of it. And there are so many parts I haven't seen yet! I don't know what it is about France--I've been to other countries that were really cool, and I loved visiting them. But France trumps them all.

Sometimes I just get tired of everyday life. But everyday life is life. These mundane days...they are the bread-and-butter of a life. Sometimes not too exciting, not too memorable. But character is built on these days, not the ones where everything is easy. The adventures--they are once-in-a-lifetime, and I get 2! How lucky am I!? It's just hard to prepare and wait for them to come, like everything I suppose. Patience is a virtue, and I am getting plenty of practice! I'm reading all about the history of the Channel Islands, and it's just making me want to be there right now. To be distracted, doing something I love, in a place so beautiful. It's 43 degrees there right now and cloudy (yes I looked up the weather) it sounds exactly like Eugene, and I want to be there. It's mockingly beautiful here--sunny and freezing. A mon avis, winter shouldn't camouflage as summer. It should be cloudy and grey, and cold. Maybe that's just my love for home influencing me...I miss it already. But I don't really believe in self-pity (that's probably my mom's influence coming out :) It's okay to be sad, but then you have to pick yourself up and find all of the reasons why life is worth living.

I'm even going to Guatemala in March! My professors have all been so gracious in letting me skip a week and a half of school--they all said go for it, we can make arrangements. I love being an upperclassman. And my major is amazing. It's a little stressful trying to narrow my topic, but soooo INTERESTING. I'm reading these books about how to do research, and it makes me so excited! And they are so helpful. I'm sure my students are probably going to hear more about the Channel Islands than they want to, but hey, they'll live. And hopefully my enthusiasm will teach them something about anthropology that they can't get from reading books.

I still haven't made peace with Utah...I definitely love BYU, but Utah in general? Not so much. I just can't get over the lack of trees. I miss GREEN. At least Arizona's landscape is beautiful in a desert sort-of way. But Utah is just brown. No cactus, no sequoia, no creosote to smell when it finally rains. The things that make Arizona beautiful. It probably helps that I have family there. Utah is lonely.

That's not quite fair. I have really good friends. The kind that become almost family. The kind that will drop everything to make sure you are ok. The kind that bring you ice cream or leave notes of encouragement. The kind that I'm comfortable saying anything around and it doesn't matter. The kind I can laugh with for hours. The kind that like me anyway, no matter what. The kind that want to hang out just because.

Take that January!